Choices. It is always choices that make your life. Whether you want to major in English or sciences, whether you want to go to particular place/city or not. Whether you want to get up at an early hour and make yourself habituated to it. Choices. All choices.
Some are default choices, those that have been dictated by tradition and custom. When you chooses to deflect these paths, a hundred impediments readily make it as difficult as possible. Karma or destiny might have a role to play. But there is something called ‘Freewill’. Freewill: to choose to digress from a path that destiny has set for you.
When one says you can choose your destiny, they are probably talking about free will. If everything was pre-destined one could always blame that very destiny for the sins they commit. God, really, has thought of everything to make the journey to salvation as difficult as possible. No possibility of escaping temptations except for those who are strong willed, who can will their free will to be the best path to get rid of the cycle of rebirth.
Death is lighter than feather, duty heavier than a mountain (Wheel of Time). The duty to be able to discover the shadow within and not let it burn away the light to smoke. With full awareness of what it is that lies within, both good and bad, one can, perhaps, make use of the knowledge of self for the goal of that which has inspired most poets. Transcendence.
I read somewhere, character is not build in isolation. It is tested and built when one learns to live life, experience and grow. Always grow. Whether you have been lied to, betrayed, cheated on by friends or foe, grow. Learn what you have to and move on. But contemplate on why it happened. Why, the contemplation might throw light on those things that might make you strong and wiser. Wiser, so as to use the freewill as and when necessary. To digress from a path destiny has set for you. Why, some might call even that destiny.