Sunny disposition

I am a happy person. The core of me is happy. No matter what you put me through, where I am, how I am feeling, the core of me is happy. Even if I have had a fight with my mom. Or my best friend. Even if I have fallen down and hurt myself pretty bad.

I am upset. And then I am not. How is that possible? I have no idea. I think there is a part of me that I won’t allow anyone to affect. I can be in throes of depression only to be seen laughing five minutes later. I think I am talented like that.

Despite that talent, I like pain. I like darkness. We are taught by the means of opposites. I don’t have to or need to be happy always. It’s a stupid concept. That one lives by pleasure principle. In the same vein, since pain does give me some kind of pleasure, maybe we do? Ha! I love dark humour, dark poetry, sometimes grotesque literature. I like novels (including fantasy fiction) that don’t talk about defeating darkness. Darkness is not the enemy. And it definitely is not external. The only thing to conquer is this unrealistic goal of happiness.

Happiness is a choice. I can choose to be happy. Or sad. Or be happy because I can feel sad. I am happy to have the choice to feel what I want to feel.

So feel away people. Whatever it is. And do remember you are choosing to feel it. 😀 This isn’t as much as giving power back to you as it is about being at peace. So maybe, the core of me is not happy. But at peace. Let anything happen to me, physically or emotionally, I am always at peace. Spiritually at peace. Peace to all.


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