My dearest You

Hello,

Been sometime, no? I just thought I would bring you up to speed. I finished my first semester, spent my holidays doing everything I love, and now the second semester has begun. Again, an elective there. Do you know how much I have to walk, love? A lot. But it’s good for weight loss, so that is some saving grace. I love writing letters like this. It makes me happy, but have you ever felt that words often don’t express half of what you feel?

For instance, I can never describe how beautiful it is when it rains there. I don’t want to either, sometimes imagination can only enhance the lush greenery. Incidentally, I am wearing green right now and I feel so happy. 

I worry incessantly, you know it. That hasn’t changed at all. I still worry. Oh, yes. I have found new reasons to worry about. But life has its own pace now. Life is… Beautiful. That part is going according to the plan, I told you. No deficiency there. There are times when I feel that I am not putting in much effort, that am getting it easy, but you know how I undermine my own efforts, right? I always think I haven’t done enough.

I am content. Oh there are occasional bouts of anger, sadness. But they add to life, you know what I mean? I told you I don’t need to be happy. Life is like a poem, contrary to what you said. What’s the best part? Oh the discussions. This time we have my favourite professor teaching us. Yay. It helps to have AD there. You know the university wouldn’t feel like university without him there. My guide is simply brilliant. She is supportive and very patient. I need someone like her. You know how I am indecisive, she is a good influence.

Yesterday, for the first time, I was scared of what life would give me. I gave me a lecture. I cannot be scared of that now, can I? Oddly, I felt more alive than ever while I was there getting shit scared of the future.

I am waiting, though. I have no idea what I am waiting for, though. It seems as though my life is hurtling towards some point and I don’t know what that point is. I don’t even know if I should be anticipating it with happiness or dreading it. Life is good, for most part. And like I said, I don’t need to be happy always. I think that is a weird concept. I like being sad too. It’s good to learn with the help of two wings. Oh I cannot help but quote Rumi and Hafiz to you. You know how I love them. Remember all those times when I would read it out you?

Love,
Till next time.

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