So, in order to get my stuff in order, I decided I would delete all my social media accounts. Even whatsapp. I know, I know, “even whatsapp, oh my god! But why!?”
My mother and best friend took guesses as to why I took this ‘radical’ decision. Their reasons ranged from being stalked to being in love. The kind of questions they asked, I had to ask them both if they shared a questionnaire in preparation for my grilling session.
Anyway, so there I was, blissfully unaware of the shared posts on fb, of who said what and why, and all the tham–jham of being online (for more than a month), when I had the urge to check my whatsapp account. I had to check, it was a temptation like no other. And so I did. Only to get excited messages from my ex-students and friends about their internships, placements, and marriages, and child births. Can you believe the last? My best friend had given birth to a baby girl (Haniya Haider, she is a leetle pink cheeked cherub) on May 5. Can you believe that? A person gave birth to a whole new person and I checked it only today, the 22*.She could have called, but, she chose to message. And I am okay with it. God knows being a mom is not easy (not that I know of it, my mom tells me). I was gone not for a year, people, just a month.
It felt like I was gone for a decade. The things that happened, the wishes people expected from me. Everything. So, whatsapp, I am back. I am back on request (ranging from angry to demanding and wailing) and because I am racked with guilt for not having been there for people.
*my posts usually go online after a week or two of writing them. When I wrote this, it was 22.