Almost kisses in Hindi serials; our (Goddamned) Sanskriti. 

For all those who, out of their love for Indian Sanskriti and culture, think English sitcoms with all the kissing and one liners and pick up lines are too much for our very cultured society. Here’s a thought.

The Hindi serial you watch at home, everyday, without battling an eyelid has so many sleazy dialogues, double entendres, palpable sexual tension, that, in my very humble opinion, is way more against our culture than frank expression of fictional love between fictional characters of English sitcoms.* They kiss and flirt. They don’t almost kiss and leave the viewer wanting more. They don’t almost kiss each other’s necks, and arms, and leave the audience to live vicariously. Sheesh. Where are your values, then, my good Indian brothers and sisters? 

And what is this culture you harp about? Oh, you mean the rape culture? Wait, not that. Regressive culture? Oh, not that. A culture where babies are born because God blessed them? Because sexual love isn’t our culture. Maternal love, fraternal love (sometimes incestuous, at least according to the newspaper reports), all of that is ok. 

I digress and transgress, always. Never let the girl be educated, I tell you. She starts thinking. And we don’t want any of that nonsense now, do we?

Back to Hindi serials. I don’t understand why the heroines pant, or the heroes. They almost kiss. They are interrupted. Then the whole panting, running, getting wet, getting lost in forests, warehouses, fires, and the damned list continues. Oh my god! Did you have to include all the elements (Water, check. Earth- check. Fire- check. Air- *pants*. Do I have to go on?) in the process of them finally consummating their damned relationships?  But alas, they don’t. It’s only to arouse the viewer.

Not so with my English sitcoms. At least the ones I watch. They are in love, they make out, end of story. I feel happy that they feel happy. I love friends. Suits. Greys anatomy. I have never felt like a peeping Tom or voyeristic when I watch those. But watch any one Hindi serial, all you want to do is kick someone’s butt. Bah. So annoying. They don’t offer you anything. Nothing. Sure, colours showed some promise. Initially. So yeah, nothing. There is no fun. There’s lot of rona- dhona and lack of quality breathable air (pant some more). But it’s just that. And frankly, when the lead pair in Hindi serial do their (nautanki) bit, I want to scream, oh just get on with it already, so we can watch the evil mother in law (or father in law, I kinda miss those days when men played negative characters) hatch her evil plans. And I swear, that is a lot more interesting than someone pant “Armaan” or “Naitik”. **

Do yourselves a favour and watch SUITS. 

* I stress on fictional here because those people are so not from our culture. They are fictional. Where as Hindi serial characters are so real, so life like (with all their scheming Indianness) that they are your dinner companions everyday. 

** I don’t watch Hindi serials (except in passing), so you can fill in your choice of character here.

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